You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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