If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
I took so my adderall all I can do is lie on my floor and stare too hard at my hedgehog. He has 42 spines in the dark spot on his shoulder btw.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
