I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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