I feel like I'm in dance class right now
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
Randomize
