Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
