Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
He had bigger boobs than me last night and we both weren't wearing a bra so it was a fair judgement
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Randomize
