He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize
