Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I will die if light touches me.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Those nachos came to me in a dream
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
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