Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize