Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Randomize
