I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
You got cut off after you tried to make the dog funnel moscato.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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