Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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