i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
