he shaved USA in his pubs
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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