So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
