her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
