You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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