doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize
