you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
