i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
there is glitter all over my balls
Randomize
