Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
