I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
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