dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
Granted, I did not plan to spend ANY hour of the last day of 2020 sober.
Randomize
