another moral hangover. fuck.
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
this beer tastes like vomit already
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
MIDGETS
????
Randomize
