the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
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