There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
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