You kept calling me your small dog last night.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
