How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
