Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
I just found cold cuts in the blender. You and beefeater can no longer have unsupervised parties.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
you had me at cake vodka
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Randomize
