he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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