yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
