Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Was he a virgin!? DID YOU TAKE A GUY'S VIRGINITY ON MY FLOOR!?
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
Randomize
