i was born a porn star she said
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
If I die tonight, I want you to know that your sister is awesome in bed
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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