So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
