a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
Randomize
