toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
you will always have a special place in my vag
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize