That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
Randomize