Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Promise me, at my funeral, you will re-enact our human sledding incident of 2011....you can use my dead body as said sled.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize