I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
