C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
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