I'm drive I can fine osifer
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
