Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
