But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
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