Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize
