how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
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