We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
Randomize
