Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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