How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
Randomize
