I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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