wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
My dating life has become some fucked up hydra of dicks; you cut one off and two pop up in its place.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
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