peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
