I hate all girls vehemently.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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