i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Randomize
