There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
